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srijeda, 02.02.2011.
Under the ''Friendly Fire''
In the military term there is an expression known as the ''friendly fire''.
It is never intended, but, unfortunately, it still happens in the battle field and many are hurt or even get killed by the, so called, ''friendly fire''.
It's been said that the words sometimes can be more dangerous and kill faster than the bullets, and the pen can be sharper than the sword.
Thinking about it, I wonder, how many times in everyday life I find myself under the ''friendly fire''?
Then again, I even more wonder how many times and how many people had found themselves being under mine ''friendly fire''?
As I am getting older and more mature, I realize more and more that way to many times and way to many precious friends have been lost because of it.
As I already said, the ''friendly fire'' is never intended but it still happens - sometimes because of the blindness (being stubborn, angry or hurt, out of fear, out of ignorance...), sometimes because of the good faith (being naive and childish), sometimes because of good intentions (Samuel Johnson remarked that ' hell is paved with good intentions').
No matter on the reasons and no matter how ''friendly'' the 'fire' was, whenever I put people under it, somebody got hurt and then the ' friendly fire' suddenly showed its true nature and became what it really is - ''hostile fire''.
I guess, the bottom of the barrel is that no matter how ''friendly'' it is, the ''fire'' should cease (stubbornness, pride, criticism, mocking, all rudeness, yelling...) and the ''negotiating'' should begin (content conversation - ''It would mean a lot to me...''
''Would you please...''
''I'd like you to...''
''I'd appreciate if...''
''If you could...'' )
ponedjeljak, 11.10.2010.
Always have positive attitude, never be negative or rude, not even as a joke
Once while I still served as a missionary in Varaždin, me one of my close friends and Pres. Weight stood at the parking lot with the intention to board his car. As usually, me and afore mentioned friend were joking about something and I said to her ''I hate you!'' as a joke. And as a joke she said to him ''He says he hates me!''. Though I was very surprised by his reaction at the time, I now understand him perfectly well, and I must admit he was very much right. I had to learn it hard way, unfortunately. He immediately pulled me at the side for my hand and told me: ''Elder Gržinčić, I don't want to hear you say such a thing ever again. To anyone!'' Surprised as I was, I told him it was just a joke as we usually do and tried to explain and justified myself. He told me: ''Elder Gržinčić, I don't want to hear you say such a thing ever again to anyone, no matter how good friends you are. First, it is not Christlike. Second, it is totally unnecessary. And the third, no matter how good you think you know someone, you never know how the person will react and when will be hurt, even if it was only a joke.'' As I said, though I didn't understand his reaction at the time, now I can see I'd be far more happier and lose far less friends if I listened to him.
srijeda, 21.04.2010.
Love is not divided, it is multiplied
I have learn a valuable lesson about love from President Weight when he told me how his mother would answer the question each time when people would ask her which out of her seven children she loves mostly. She'd always said: ''Love is not divided, love is multiplied!'' And when people would ask her to which of her children she gives the most attention, she'd answer: ''Attention and care is divided depending on who needs it the most presently. The one who is presently ill or feels down or have some other need of the sort, that one gets the most attention.'' I have learn from this a great and valuable lesson: Love is not divided, attention and care is, but love is not, love is multiplied.
utorak, 06.04.2010.
Bite the Lemon
Have you ever try to bite the lemon? It is hard thing to do. It is even harder to eat the whole thing up!
While on my mission, during one zone conference, my mission president ate four of them!!! He wanted to make sure that no missionary would be hurt if they eat the whole lemon, so till the time came for us to try it, he had to eat all four of them. Anyways, the point is that you can compare the lemon with the issues and challenges in your life. Whenever you have an issue or meet the challenge, you feel that sour taste in your mouth as if you just ate the lemon. So, if you try to eat the ''lemon'', at first tastes awful and you don't like it and it is hard thing to do, but once you have done it, every other you eat is easier, and then pretty soon you can face any issue or challenge life puts before you.
So, if you hesitate and you haven't done it yet, go ahead, be brave and bite it hard! I can promise the bad taste will be only of a short time, and after that it will become better and easier, you even get a lot of fun during the process!
ponedjeljak, 29.06.2009.
...friends, my friends...
...friend, my friend, please forgif' me,
for I am here and you are not,
just empty chair and empty table
and my friend (šmrc, šmrc) is no more...
subota, 27.06.2009.
Step out of Your Safe Zone
I've found out that we all have our own little ''safe zone'' where we feel comfy'. We do things there, we know all there, and we pretty much rule there. We actually live there. Right in our little ''safe zone'' where nobody can hurt us nor make us feel lost or confused or anything like that. That's the reason we stick to it and we don't let go for the life!
It is in us. It is in our minds. It is actually our state of mind, and don't fool yourself you're not doing it, you do, you do, only thing is you don't know that, yet.
What's wrong wit that?
Well, it is ok thing in some moments, and as it is written: ''blessed are the poor'' (it refers not only to material poverty, actually it is more about other, non-material things) but...
If you constantly live in your ''safe zone'', it is most likely you will miss many great things and many opportunities you would otherwise use as best you know and can.
Fear, embarrassment, and doubt will overtake you and lead you rather away from the world and people than towards them.
Trust me, I know exactly what am I talking about for I was a long time just like that.
Now, you may think you're very open minded and talkative and so on so forth, but let me ask you:
How many time a day you go outside and start a conversation w/ a totally stranger in the street or store or anywhere?
How many time a day you approach someone to render your selfless assistance?
How many time a day you'd like to go somewhere and do something you usually never do but you're not doing it because you think about people around you, obligations and that sort of things?
Think about that and you'll see you're closed into your ''shell'' or ''safe zone'' where you know everything and everyone and you know what to do and how, or at list you think you know, 'cause sooner or later you will face the music and see that you're not in charge.
Anyway, I've learn and I can recommend you - STEP OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN SAFE ZONE!
How to Eat an Elephant?
If you're a happy crowd of about one million flies, you can eat an elephant in about five minutes.
But, considering the fact that we are human beings, we can't really do that. Beside that, I don't think elephants are really so tasty, though I never ate any.
However, I've learn that whenever you have some big job to do or some major problem to solve, or anything of a kind, that becomes an elephant in your life.
So how can you ''eat'' it?
Actually, it is quite simple. You need to do exactly what the flies are doing. Simply tare it apart, brake it into pieces, and eat it bite by bite, one piece at a time.
You just can't eat the whole freakin' thing at once, even though many people are doing just that, trying to gobble it up in one piece. It's just impossible!
So, what you need to make a good receipt for an elephant is:
Line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. Don't run more than you can, or need to.
Mr. Whipperman had thought me a great principle when he said to me:
''Slow down Rasko, you'll get there faster, 'cause haste makes waste.'' (And the guy would know the best, he's been around here in this world over 85 yrs!)
četvrtak, 28.05.2009.
Definition of Insanity
First thing Pres. Weight had taught me is Mr. Einstein's definition of insanity which says if you're keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and and expect different results you're insane.
Really, if you do something once or twice or a hundred times, what makes you think a hundred and first time will be any different than before? What makes you think it will be any better?
By my experiences, it won't be any different nor better, in fact with the time will be only the worse.
So, if you see something that is not quite right with your life, or something that doesn't really go the way you want, or if there's something that you're not satisfied with, you need to stop, think about it and change it. JUST CHANGE IT.
Don't be worried about other people's opinions and comments that are usually rude anyway, and don't let anything holds you down because you have all the right to make your life as you see fit for yourself.
Even if you make some mistakes, it's all right because you can always go back and do it better the next time.
ponedjeljak, 18.05.2009.
way to go in 10 points
Mr. Douglas L. Weight is a wonderful family man, a very successful businessman and a spiritual giant.
Of course, he is also my emeritus mission president that taught me a great deal of things about life and people.
Here are a few things that he taught me :
1. definition of insanity
2. how to eat an elephant
3. step out of your safe zone
4. bite the lemon!
5. directing conversation
6. assembly line
7. follow up
8. working together
9. always have positive attitude,
never be negative and rude, not even as a joke
10. love is not divided, it is multiplied
Wherever I went, whatever I did, I met a good deal of
friends that knew exactly what I need.
Some were rich, some were poor, some were mighty
and strong and the whole lot more.
They all have in common they offered their hearts to
one wretched soul, though, who I was they didn't care
they didn't know.
They did their best, to shape me well;
to bring me by hand, to get me there -
to comply, to listen, to strictly obey,
to play their music, to follow their way.
But I wouldn't, I know, I was a miser and culprit and vain,
and all I have been to their neck is, how you call it?
oh, yes! it is THE pain!
Well, excuse my choices, but in spite my mistakes,
I decided to tell:
I've had my portion of tears and pain
thank you all, I'd rather never have it again!
Now, at the end, with heartily laugh,
thank you my friends, I've had you enough!
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